it's been a year. a long, complicated year. how do i paint all the twisty, ugly turns or all the overwhelming, life-changing victories, all the kinks collected in a suddenly aged body or the indestructible smile pasted on my face. how could i ever accurately represent all that this past year has become?

well, a writer has her ways. hidden in the back of my kid's colouring books, scribbled on scraps of paper and junk mail envelopes... i did my best to capture at least a glimpse so that i would one day, maybe once the quiet of winter sets in, i could sew it all together in a quilt of remembrance. the story of how i dug down deep to the grittiest grit, how i got my stripes. how i grew and how i became.

it may take me awhile yet to unravel all the glory and grit, but oh how i have missed writing. when writer's can't write, they read. and i love reading the story of the velveteen rabbit, so much so that it was one of our first christmas gifts to our kids, well before they could ever understand. it is a beautiful picture of restoration. the quote below is mounted on our living room wall so i'll never forget why i sometimes feel shabby or loose in the joints,

'it doesn't happen all at once,' said the skin horse. 'you become. it takes a long time. that's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. but these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.” 
~ the velveteen rabbit

cheers to catching up!