3.30.2014

shout to the Lord

this is an oldie but a goodie. i just love don moen. his music is one of my earliest memories of belting it out with everything i got.

this has been the cry of my heart for as long as i can remember.
more true now then it's ever been.
let every breath, all that i am
never cease to worship You
nothing compares to the promise i have in You.

3.29.2014

stand. {rehoboth farm}

as you may already know, we are just about to move to our dream farm... whilst at the same time desperately trying to sell our house. this has not been a pleasant experience with two dogs, four kids & a schedule in overtime. in fact, i would probably say it has been unnecessarily, above & beyond our expectation of what this unpleasant experience probably should have been. it has been an experience akin to the fire swamp in 'the princess bride' or the ten plagues in the old testament. in fact, you probably would think we were grossly exaggerating the shenanigans 'blighting our land' as of late.

with pestilence ranging from several cycles of a species of flu akin to black death, our house punching me in the face, a variety of our household appliances simultaneously going on strike including both our vehicles for weeks at a time (which ended fatally for our toaster, blender, coffee press, coffee grinder & all our phone charging devices), a dog gone wild, my husband's overactive travelling schedule hitting it into high gear, entering the 7th circle of house showing hell (which i'm sure one day very far from now will become favourite funny stories)...and that's not to mention the last little bag of tricks that has been thrown our way just as we prepare to close on monday. it would be considered a victory if we could avoid catastrophe two days in a row not to mention actually make it to the farm.


and yet from a place of everything-that-could-go-wrong-has-gone-wrong, i look at others stories like "12 years a slave" kinda stories & my problems are humbled to insignificance. 

it could all be in my head but it does feels like we are under attack. it is ironic that there has been such contention over this place as one of the names steve & i had been throwing around for the farm was 'rehoboth'. 'rehoboth' means 'broad place', and it refers to the land of inheritance that only God can give & that the enemy cannot steal from you. 'rehoboth' meaning a place of enlargement & flourishing. it was the name isaac gave his un-contended well.

"so when they dug the third well and there were no quarrels isaac named it rehoboth saying 'now the Lord has given us room and we well flourish in the land.'"
{gen 26:22}

this experience has taken a pretty detailed account of our weaknesses & short comings. where our faith & attitudes have failed, God has met us with His fullness & His faithfulness. any earthy hope has been replaced by the Promise found in Himself.  

in responding to some of these multi-fauceted, fast-paced challenges, it's been hard to not get shaken up & i haven't always known what exactly to do. and sometimes there isn't anything to do.  i love how ephesians 6:13 puts it...

"finally, be strong in the Lord & in His mighty power. put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes...therefore, put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. stand firm..."  

when you've done all to stand, stand. i can stand because i've done all to stand and then God partners with me & stands with me. and i stand. feet firm. vision locked. belt tightened.

and so i stand. my feet firm on the contended soon to be un-contended, flourishing broad ground of 'rehoboth farm'.

thanks to all those who have been so faithfully contending for us in prayer. :)

3.26.2014

pride

it's amazing what comes to the surface when you're under a little pressure. feeling a little bit convicted recently as my own pride surfaces in different areas...

my name is Pride. i am a cheater.
i cheat you of your God-given destiny...because you demand your own way.
i cheat you of contentment...because you "deserve better than this".
i cheat you of knowledge...because you already know it all.
i cheat you of healing...because you're too full of me to forgive.
i cheat you of holiness...because you refuse to admit when you're wrong.
i cheat you of vision...because you'd rather look in the mirror than out a window.
i cheat you of genuine friendship...because nobody's going to know the real you.
i cheat you of love...because real romance demands sacrifice.
i cheat you of greatness in heaven...because i convince you to seek your own.
my name is Pride. i am a cheater.
you like me because you think i'm always looking out for you. untrue.
i'm looking to make a fool of you.
God has so much for you, i admit, but don't worry... if you stick with me you'll never know.
{beth moore, praying God's word: breaking free from spiritual strongholds}


3.17.2014

wave walking

a song about borderless trust. wave wandering. and sinking feelings.
about the fail-less One.  

because He's called me out on the waters...


and i will call upon your name, keep my eyes above the waves,
when oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace,
for i am Yours & You are mine.

where feet may fail & fear surrounds me,
You've never failed & You won't start now.

3.06.2014

the God of arms & legs

i love westerns. it is one of my secret guilty pleasures.

the other day while watching one said western, there was this really dubious scene in which the reverend of the small dusty town goes inevitably crazy, overtaken by the overwhelming darkness & wickedness that's grown so familiar around him.  one of the lost settlers stumbles into the reverend's tent & confesses that he wants to turn from his wicked ways & repent & asks what he should do to be saved. and the reverend, looks up & in this infamous speech says...

"do you really want to believe in this god? let me tell you a story. way back when, the devil [tied] god's arms & legs. and then plucked his eyes out & [gaged] him. but god could still hear us. he couldn't do anything to help us out of our misery but he could still hear us writhe & scream to the heavens. and so that is why we pray. because although god has no arms or legs for which to reach us, no eyes to see us or voice to speak to us, he has ears to hear our immense misery. now, do you really want to believe in this god?"

it was quite a shocking scene really. needless to say, that poor lost settler did not get saved that night. but i just couldn't get that monologue out of my head. i think because its sometimes the temptation i face in the midst of challenges. i can see Him as someone stationary, indifferent to my plight. or if i see Him as benevolent & loving, He certainly isn't passionate enough to move on my behalf in tangible ways. that because He isn't ending all suffering everywhere, He isn't interested in ending mine. and although i have some thoughts on suffering & the goodness of God that i've gleaned along the way, i don't think any thing could quite change our minds more than God standing up for Himself. we talk every Sunday about God's arms & legs & voice but until you've tangibly seen & touched His hands, looked into those eyes burning for you... we'll that's a completely different, undeniable experience.

so if you find yourself in a lonely place, surrounded by the darkness of circumstance, i dare you to invite the God of mighty arms & legs of bronze & thunderous voice & passionate gaze into your situation.

because it's either meeting the all powerful, fully functioning, eternally passionate God or being content with a god who only has ears to hear our futility. and i think we can both agree that the former is were the heart longs to believe.