my favourite part of the day

since davith has just switched over to his big boy bed, my favourite part of the day is at the very end of the day. after all of the activity and hustle and bustle. after soaking all three, washing off of the mud, food, barf & poop. brushing those pearly whites. slathering them all with the wonderful scent of burts bees. putting on a fresh pairs of pj's for all (myself included). swaddling the twins in warm blankies and leaving them fast asleep cuddling together in their crib. crawling into a fresh bed with dav and li li after a long day and reading our favourite stories (wild about books, llama llama red pajama, on the night you were born, a turtle in the toliet). brushing his hair with my hand as he drifts off to sleep before i can crawl over the guard rail. the only sound to be heard in the house is three soothers being sucked to contentment... and taking a deep breath, grabbing my drink of choice & curling up on the couch with my best friend, my hubby!

lessons in the losses

lesson #3: just cry it out

we are right in the middle of sleep training the twins who are now 2 months old and i'm not sure who cries more, me or them. never under estimate the healing power of a really good sob. i let my kids cry it out and sometimes i need to too. it's just so cathartic, like an emotional purge. a relief of tension really. my motto used to be 'big girls don't cry' but it's like joyce meyer says, 'eat the cookie, buy the shoes'. you have to let go sometimes. i just wish i could schedule mine in for when it was most socially appropriate and convenient!

lessons in the losses

lesson #2: if you fall off the wagon, just dust yourself off and jump back on

so many times i've wasted time wallowing in my failure. now, i just can't afford to. i just don't have time with three little ones under the age of 1 and a half. i have found tremendous freedom in realizing i don't HAVE to feel condemned and awful about myself and that i can jump back up sometimes quicker than it took me to fall down. kids are resilient, and so should moms be.

lessons in the losses

lesson #1: kids are professional mistake makers

as the perfectionist that i am, i can often put unrealistic expectations on my kids. before i became a mom, i always took pride in the fact that my theoretic children would be well groomed, clean, and well behaved ALL of the time. now that my kids are no longer theoretical, i realized all to well that kids were made to make mistakes. and they are not doing it to get back at you or because they are terrible - they are just learning in their own creative way. once i learned to embrace my kids as professional mistake maker and not take it so personally, i was able to actually look forward to those moments as opportunities to train and teach. and now, i even enjoy it... most of the time!

lessons in the losses

one thing that i think every mom finds difficult is the feeling of defeat or failure. it's the anger that boils over after stepping on a cheerio immediately after sweeping the floor. it's the feeling you get when you finally have to face the laundry monster growing in your basement or cleaning out the tub & re-bathing everyone after discovering that prunes before bath are never a good idea. it is the general feeling that all of your hard work is undone everyday and having nothing to show for it, like you've regressed since the day began.

being a teacher, i always loved that feeling of accomplishment every time i walked by my brilliant bulletin board celebrating all of the kids beautiful work or the comments i would get from fellow teachers and parents about a great idea i had. but now being at home i sometimes feel a bit lost not having that bulletin board to show all of my hard work or not having someone to commend me on a fabulous idea. it is strangely disorienting to find out no one is counting how many diapers i change in a day or how miraculously i scrubbed bingo dabber out of the rug.

but as my wise husband always reminds me there are lessons in the losses, choices in the chaos. in my very young experience as a mom, i want to learn my lessons fast so i don't have to repeat them tripley, as i'm sure anyone would agree. so i thought i would record some of the little treasure i have mined out of the sleepless nights, frazzled hair and piles of poop before my hormone soaked mind forgets them. hopefully this little list will grow quickly over time.

a name is a name

i have loved naming all our kids - sometimes i wish we had 20 kids just because there are so many good names out there! my husband disagrees... with the 20 kids part!

but i have often heard it said that a name is a name which sounds just so uninspired. one of the first verses i memorized to speak over davith after he was born was isaiah 19:19 "i and the children the lord has given me have names that reveal the plans god almighty has for his people." And with that as my inspiration, let me introduce our three children...

davith benjamin "beloved son of the right hand": we love this name because it speak of the rich inheritance we have as god's beloved. davith is the welsh form of david. we have continually drawn life from the story of david in the bible as someone who ran to the battle line and worshipped god without abandon. this fits davith perfectly and is right in line with a prophetic word over his life about him being 'one that will go further'.

micaiah john emeth (kai) "who is like god? grace & truth, rejoice": there is a passage in revelations that talks about the pillars on either sides of god's thrown being grace and truth which i think is a perfect picture - the embrace of grace & sword of truth side by side. such an excellent cause to rejoice! he has been so gentle from the start rotating between crooked little grins and a furrowed brow. even his cry is gentle (well, at least compared to eva's). he will a quiet but bold strength, a strong but gentle man of god filled with deep wisdom.

eva joy nouvelle "new life & joy": well that one really speaks for herself. even in the womb, anytime we felt uncertain about the twins health, this feisty little girl would get all riled up, pole vaulting off my poor hips! her smile lights up her entire face. she will be an excellent testimony to what a new creation and new joy really is.

watch out world! here they come!

the babies have landed!

they're here!

eva joy nouvelle & micaiah john emeth finally arrived on may 13 at 10:59 and 11:01 am weighing a healthy 7.6 and 6.6 lbs.

and we love them!

instantly, overwhelmingly, absolutely & unconditionally!

the lord is so good to me.

a life in the making...

i have finally joined the ranks of fellow bloggers in an attempt to capture and memorialize my kids lives as they grow and as i stretch (in more ways than one as i have just given birth to our twins!). as hard as it is to watch then grow up, i really want to remember those little looks or cute peculiarities as their little personalities take form.

so, here is my newest venture, a blog, as a sort of scrapbook of seemingly random but so very precious memories, stories, quips and quotes as they splash together to compose one very wonderful life.

thank-you lord for these gloriously messy but oh so sweet days...i think to myself as i try to scrub 2 quarts worth of plumb sauce off my very sticky, very shiny one and half year old!

the adventure continues!