interrupted.

 as you may have already noted, i have been a little interrupted in my blogging pursuit as of late. but it hasn't been just blogging, really it's been a whole ream of things that have been, well, "interrupted", for lack of a better word. my breakfast is interrupted. my sleep is interrupted. my sentences are interrupted. my thoughts are interrupted. most of my daily pursuits are constantly being interrupted. i might even say the word for this season in my life is "interrupted".  i won't say on hold because i usually get back to tinkering with whatever it is, if it was actually important, that was interrupted by either my four young children, a rebellious animal or arduous farm task, the sudden collapse of our home as we know it from long time neglect & other such things. (i kinda feel as though i am constantly in a triage situation. like which things is the most important for me to tackle at the moment when there are a billion things screaming my name. there is no pretty cleaning schedule on my fridge or chore list. just which thing has to get done today or else).  blog posts are always getting spun & evolving in my head but when i sit down to write anything, whether at 4 am or 1pm when everyone should be sleeping or elsewhere, i am inevitably interrupted. so hold on world... there is a whole lot of back logged thoughts yet to be written & caught up on particularly from this very fast paced, steep learning curve we find our family on. so much learning, so much growing, so much grace, so much God.

but as a bonifide "doer" kind of a personality, not being able to finish a task has been a difficult reality to accept. we live in a construction zone, both literally & figuratively. we're not done building character into our kids or cementing Godly values in our home or cultivating the Presence the way we'd like to or keeping that unruly attitude in check. what's worse is that when you live in a construction zone, physically or metaphorically, you are always stepping on nails or trying to come up with solutions for seemingly "no win" situations for that hole in the wall that you don't want anyone else to see because you would never want anyone to assume that this is the way your house always is or will stay. construction is uncomfotable. not seeing anything through to completion is super challenging for me. the Church isn't finished. our home isn't finished. our family isn't finished. my marriage isn't finished. i'm not finished. when all i want so badly is to finally get to hold up a beautiful masterpiece that i've worked so hard for.

but i started to change my attitude about construction zones in my life when i began to see that i am called to change & construction. i am called to the undone things in life. so no use in running the other direction every time i was beyond frustration with a particular task. i realized i was far to preoccupied with the end product & could not embrace the process that would eventually, one day, get me there. embracing the process is challenging for a neat freak because, well, it's sticky & dirty & it smells & it's full of constant interruptions & perceived set backs.

but i found encouragement from the story of the little children running to Jesus with their sticky fingers & dirty faces to interrupt Him... and He let them. He let them interrupt His important kingdom preaching & teaching because they were His kingdom work. they were the whole point. so, if the God of the universe doesn't mind or even encourages the little children to interrupt Him, then how much more willing should i be? the pigs on the other hand should learn to wait their turn. :)

there is also value in "practicing the Presence" even amongst the many interruptions that may occur over a day. it's like working a muscle. and i for one am getting lots of practice keeping my eyes on Him & cultivating the Presence despite goats at my door & emails binging in my inbox & children running through the house covered in swamp muck. i've spent way to long seeing interruptions or a chaotic home as a sin when it is assuredly not. it's just young family life. and here too i can find a sweet spot in the Spirit if i chose to embrace interruptions & all the mess that comes with life construction.

"without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest."

 - proverbs 14:4

happy easter

"Jesus is a redeemer, a restorer in every way. His day on the Cross looked like a colossal failure, but it was his finest moment. He launched a kingdom where the least will be the greatest and the last will be first, where the poor will be comforted and the meek will inherit the earth. Jesus brought together the homeless with the privileged and said, "You're all poor, and you're all beautiful." The cross leveled the playing field, and no earthly distinction is valid anymore. There is a new "us"—people rescued by the Passover Lamb, adopted into the family and transformed into saints. It is the most epic miracle in history.

That is why we celebrate. May we never become so enamored by the substitutions of this world that we forget."

{jen hatmaker}

champagne & chattel chicks {spring is a sprung-ing}

livi & her harriot

guess what has arrived at the wilkins' already? our spring chicks! well, four of our spring chicks... the rest arrive next weekend. these beautes are our lavender orphingtons {a rare purple coloured laying/meat hen}. they are all snuggled into our living room here in downtown ottawa at the moment... much to jax' chagrin. we have yet to tell our poor realtor that four chickens now reside in the house. we are not exactly sure what will happen if we need to show the house before we can safely settle chicks in at the farm. but if the dogs didn't have such an infinity for the poor lil guys we would leave them in the car together... but something tells me jax may not be able to maintain his self-control. i'm sure we'll figure something out that will probably add some kind of comedic value to our current reality. ;)

eva & her chick 'sarah'
(named after mommy,
i'm so honoured!)

dav & fred

we had so hoped that we would have settled into the farm by now but alas it has been a bit of a battle. in my impatience i had repeatedly asked steve when he realistically thought we would get the keys to the farm and he said "well, i just don't want to count our chickens before they hatch" to which i replied "it's too late for that! the chickens have hatched & they are currently occupying our kitchen table!"our hope is sure that it won't be long now but the impatience of waiting for some rolling date always on the horizon can sometimes get the better of me. which is why we have such great covenant friends like b & pat who brought some pre-victory champagne over to celebrate the other night reminding our hearts & our hopes that we can taste what He's promised before it's in our actual legal possession. ;)

kai & his chick named #6

just singing away!

i have to remind myself of this every time the going gets tough or feels tough. i personally love having the chicks in the house. their incessant chirping reminds me that spring is actually here despite the icicles hanging from the eavestrough trying to convince me otherwise. i love listening to the twins singing to their chicks "so they will grow strong" or seeing livi perched off the couch watching the box full of her little friends or witnessing the strange gentleness that comes over each child as they cuddle their chick & the pride they hold each time "their" chick does something funny. there is certainly a lot of spring bustling inside this house currently... even if spring is taking it's dear sweet time outside.

their fully decorated pad... compliments
of eva (it wasn't even my idea, just walked
into the room & she had taped all those sweet
things to their box)

and so we will embrace this season of waiting too, while also tasting what's to come. living in this strange paradox of farm animals in the middle of city, with one foot in both worlds. the now & the not yet.



so hears to chicks & champagne beginnings!
cheers!

pssst...wanna know a secret?

i'd like to blame my brief interruption in blogging on a little secret i've been trying ti keep. it wasn't for sure until Christmas eve {best Christmas gift yet!}.
and so without further adieu...
we're moving to a farm!
we're moving to a farm in ashton, texas!
just kidding... but we really are moving to a farm in ashton, ontario (about half an hour outside ottawa) & we could not be more excited!
it has been a life long dream for us to run our own organic hobby farm & we still can hardly believe that it's ours. it really feels like the Lord hand picked it for us. it is a restored 200 year old farm {which is weird because that means it wasn't actually built in Canada... at the time we were called the dominion or something}. with it's old pine floors, massive gardens, emerald roofs, open fields, climbing trees, screened in porches, creek & piggery... we instantly fell in love & felt weirdly at home. it's a homestead. a place where we can dig our roots down deep & flourish.
although it will be difficult to say good-bye to the house we've had our babies in, the maple tree in our front yard with the swing & all of the neighbours we care so deeply for, we know God's has been in it all & goes before & behind us.

thank-you Lord for your goodness overwhelms us. 

a well loved canoe

maybe it was the alluring sense of adventure in the air, teasing & taunting me with curiousity. a break from the safe & everyday groves of life. maybe it was the hope of turning around someone elses rough day. maybe it was just plain old generic crazy in the air.  whatever possessed me to try & retreieve that old beat up canoe from the furry of a windy bog, maybe i'll never know.

it all started out with a hope. the hope of a quiet overnight respite at the cottage in the woods. with bags all packed & babes snapped into their seats tight, we headed on our way in the middle of a wind storm. 

we arrived with hands white knuckled & backs arched with tension after being blown about on a busy highway. but hope undeterred & excitement building, we marched our troops into cold but cozy beds for an afternoon nap. except for the oldest, too excited to sleep, two steps behind, asking a million questions. the dogs galloped back & forth with the whipping wind as we unpacked the van & settled inside infront of a warm fire. 

and then all went dead. all the noise that you never knew you were listening to, quieted. all the fans & furnace & hum of the refrigerator. dead.  except for the distinct sound of mice scouring through the walls. and the smallest babe began to cry, still tucked in her bed. all frightened by the silence. 

and our excitement began to dwindle just a little as we began to extrapolate our options of a cold dinner in the dark with no heat. no heat for hours & hours possibly. 

steve came in from outside to announce that the boat & canoe's ropes had snapped & both a begun to quickly drift. he had caught the boat & re-tethered it but the canoe had been blown all the way to the other end of the bay & was being smashed into some flooded trees.

"it's too far & to dangerous for me to get the canoe..." he said

"but that's tom fallaise's canoe?!" i exclaimed. 

"i know but what do you want me to do about it?"

the canoe had belonged to a dear friend of steve's who had passed away many years ago. he had often talked about the fond memories with tom & this was the only thing he had to remember him by. i knew how much that canoe had meant to steve & i knew that if we didn't retrieve it tonight it would likely face a variety of demises. this canoe had gotten me into trouble before but it's crazy the things we do to remember. 

anyways, i knew steve had had a tough day, with several frustrating phone calls on our way to the cottage & i thought to myself... i'm going to get that canoe... even if it kills me. 

steve chuckled & smiled facetiously at my fervour. 

"there is no way you can get around that bog. you can try but i think you should just leave it. it'll be too hard...for you." he said. 

but he knew what he was doing. he knows what those kind of statements incite in me. absolute dedicated "i'll show you!" kinda attitude. the "i can do anything you can do better" mantra took over & i marched outside to look for the hip-waders {which turned out to have a hole in them... stupid mice}.

i left steve to calm the littlest one & shop vac water out of the basement & to clean up the cluster of mouse corpses that had collected while we were gone on the counter. 

and dav didn't miss a beat asking a million questions about where i was heading off to in my pink rubber boots & why i was going & how i was going to do it.

"i don't know dav. i'm just going to try" i said as i stuffed my pocket with a long dog leash, the only rope-ish kind of thing i could find. mcgyver would be proud.

 dav & scout followed until we got to the edge of the foreboding bog. the wind was whipping all kinds of debri through the woods & so i sent dav back to the cottage. but scout, my trusty adventure dog, stayed close by my side. it was comforting to know that at least someone was going to witness my awesomeness as a conquered this feat swiss family robinson style. 

i jumped across a few plots of raised reeds dispersed in a lumpy lake of water. until there was a bigger gap where i knew i was going to have to jump wide & hard to make it to the next plot. 

and so i jumped hard & wide & missed. big time.

my pink rubber boots split right up the side as they sunk up to past my knee....just then a roaring wind whipped through the old dead but crowded bog and limbs of every shape & size came crashing about. one large limb missed us by only a few feet...

"STTTTEEEEVVVVEE! I need HEEELLLPPP!" my voice evaporated into the wicked wind. 

 scout, my once trusty adventure dog, panicked & hightailed it outta there... to get help pressumably. hopefully. maybe?

i'm going to get knocked unconscious & then drown, i thought. but then steve's little smirk came back to my memory & i thought, you got this.

i prayed a little prayer and then managed to dislodge my freezing cold boot of bog water with a little grunting & grumbling & pulled myself up a little doon of mud. and there i was in a wild raging wind storm lost in an abis of bog pulling myself along by making little make shift bridges & tethering myself to trees & pulling myself along the bendy branches of saplings. 

i finally made it to the canoe trashing on the disappearing shoreline. half sunk with three paddles & a baby life jacket. 

through a makeshift lever system, i cranked the canoe over, briefly contemplated getting into it & tying the baby life jacket around my waist but i thought the water too violent & then tied everything safely but temporarily to a tree. i climbed on top of the canoe & straddled it between my legs. and there. on that well loved canoe. i cried a little.

i bellowed into the wind a few more times hoping to attract anyones attention.

after thinking a little, i realized that steve couldn't come & save me. he would need to stay with the four kids & there was no way for him not to jeopardize his own safety at the same time. i was on my own.

jax occassionally bounded past the end of the canoe & crashed through the bog like a panicked deer on steroids & then disappeared again before i could allure him to my side so i could ride him out of this mess. 

scenes from 'swiss family robinson' came to my remembrance {i knew watching it so many times with the boys would come in handy at some point}. i could picture the robinsons wading through the river & their different tricks they had. only they were in a tropical climate & i was clearly not.

and then i thought once again, i got this. 

i broke off a strong stick to help balance me along this time. still favouring a previous "jack-o-latern carving" wound, i pulled my way across saplings & tree trunks. half way on my way back steve & scout showed up across the way.

"STEVE! i'm really stuck!" i shouted against the wind.

"that must be really hard for you!" he shouted back sarcastically {referring to a video i had made him watch... about men needing to listen & not just fix things... cheaky boy}

i shouted a few choice words back not realizing dav was hiding behind a tree next to him.

they watched me balance & slosh the rest of the way to dry land. i climbed the hill where they were standing & dav said...

"mummy, we never say shut up. you should ask for daddy's forgiveness."

i bit my lip so hard & then i said, pretty convincingly i think, "i'm sorry daddy" & then trudged off to the dry, warm-ish cottage. 

the point is i saved that well loved canoe & i lived to tell the story. and it was horrendously fun & terrifying at the same time.

and i was proud of myself. proud that i could still adventure even with four kids. even in my life stage of needing to be practical & save & plan. even with two useless dogs. and even with a busy life.

may adventure find you where ever you are.

puppy love

and sadly, after finding out that steve is massively allergic to the hypo-allergic ferrets, we flipped them on kijiji & got a puppy!

i know. what were we thinking. and believe me, i have had my moments. like the one earlier when someone had emptied their poopy pull-up in the bathroom sink, the other pooped their pants & the puppy pooped & peed on the rug all nicely synchronized at the same time for my cleaning convenience.  that's not to mention the crate training (not so different from sleep training for babies so you'd think i'd be used to it). oh, how this pup cries. i think we could even classify it as a puppy scream. the breeder tried to warn us but those sweet puppy eyes got the best of us. he's just so flippin' cute! i guess that's where the phrase puppy love comes from.

meet scout (*or jettson or huckleberry finn... still deciding on a name, feel free to weigh in).
he's a border-jack (a border collie-parson jack russell terrier... you can see his cool parents at www.border-jack.com). he's three months but will likely stay pretty small, jack russell style. at least compared to jax. scout* & jax are besties, and that's not to mention the small pack of children that follow the poor gaffer around all day. needless to say he is well loved... even with the puppy screams & that insanely small bladder of his. :)

call us crazy, but we like the full life.

the mystery pets

rudyard kipling? "kip" for short?
or hemingway? or farley?

after much debate over what species our new little friends exactly are... they are not in fact pygmy albino rhinos, bears, ewoks or milking goats... but two little ferrets. :)

scarlett & hemingway/rudyard kipling/farley mowat (still can't decide one the boy's name...vote for your fav in the comments & we'll go with which ever gets the most!) have hopefully found a forever home in the wilkins' household.

we opted to take our chances on kijiji to save cost as we weren't positive if they'd fit in with our crazy kookie lifestyle. and take our chances we did... if it wasn't for contessa, i may not have come back alive from this kijiji buy. contessa kindly agreed to come along with me & we trucked along 45 minutes into the backwoods of quebec late at night to meet a very scary pair of handlers at one very scary backwoods trailer/garbage dump. the only thought running through my head as we got out of the car was 'we are going to die here'. thank goodness courageous contessa confidently asked all the questions & politely smiled as i was too distracted by the interesting man's rotted teeth. they really were such kind folk & offered us two free hamster for our trouble. i told him steve was allergic. :) we hightailed it out of sketch-city & booted it home as fast as our wheels could take us.

scarlett

and as for the ferrets, after scouring them & their cage from top to bottom, they are exactly what we had expected. they are like adding two more toddlers to our family but the thinking is that the two furry toddlers keep the other four toddlers completely entertained all day long with their whimsical antics & slapstick silliness, which has gotten a slight chuckle from even steve, the "-0%-excited-about-these-furry-things"guy.  even if the kids still seem to be quite confused as to what they are, (davith thinks they're hamsters or big "mices", kai things they're puppies, evie thinks they're kittens, liv thinks they're babies & jax thinks they're dinner), they have been well loved already. they have been dressed up & dragged by leashes, pushed in doll strollers, bathed & babied ALL day long. poor things are exhausted.
i think they've found a good home here. :)

he's so silly!

(scarlett is the white one... whom despite what i thought were pretty strange looking pink eyes, has made eva's best friend & the rascally looking bandit one is the boy who we can't seem to settle on a name... he's so silly!)

scarlett is, literally, eva's baby...
& she loves it!

scarlett has a slight soother addiction...
so she fits right in!

cape breton capers & cottage catch-up

hello friends!
we're back!
back from our fabulous cape breton capers.
back from our cottage cruisin'.
back to ordinary life. lovely, predictable, ordinary life. we LOVED our time away but there is nothing like sleeping in 5 different beds in 6 nights to convince you that ordinary life does have it's perks. our kids were thoroughly loved on by family & friends while we were away {although you would swear by their home-coming behaviour we had sold them to a travelling circus or released them into a savage jungle for the week... i'm sure this is just their unique way of saying we missed you mummy & daddy!} & we are so thankful for the small army it took to pull this trip off {with a special mention to our brannan HERO's who swooped in to save the day... we just love this family :) }

our trip out to the church in cape breton was phenomenial. surrounded by the gorgeous scenery of ingonish camping & the cabot trail, good eats & great fellowship were the highlights. and you know how i feel about these great folks. other than a brief trip to the strangest & yet most endearing emerg i have ever seen for a little something they like to call systemic poison ivy, it was a blast!

on our way back i snapped a few pics {as promised} of the infamous canoe rack & a few other projects going on around the cottage. i'm trying to get better about taking before pics & celebrating completed projects.  it's so nice, especially as a stay-at-home mom, to get to show off what you've spent your hard earned 'nap time' freedom on. to feel like i've progressed in some small way. i feel like 'nap time projects' deserve an extra mention only because when people ask me what i've done at the end of the day i usually only have a big pile of dirty diapers & laundry to show for it. but occasionally, when i accidentally stumble upon a reserve energy i didn't know i had, i have a chair or a shelf or a pillow to show for it. and on those rare occasions, i am extra grateful. :)

window seat with cushions & pot drawer
{this is mostly my mama's doing}

pretty happening model if i do say so myself ;)

curb side garbage turned into cottage love.

hope the stain lasts, i didn't prime them!

darn canoe rack

 and then there is the 'nap time' project to do list:

#1: railing are important, especially two stories up!

#2: after chipping the moss & lichen off, adding a little stain
& digging out the bottom, i'm sure this will be a fav spot

#3: this little number is planned to become a
princess turret/pirate ship... stay tuned! 

#4: removing those edging rocks & putting
up a cedar rail fence to stop cars from parking on lawn

#5: taking chairs, sanding & milk washing them all black

#6: building a long bookcase against that slanty wall to
support my longtime addiction to books

#7: add another railing & maybe enjoy a little nap of
my own in that nicely stained chair ;)

this growing list may well take 300 nap times to complete but what i most look forward to is the feeling of accomplishment, like i did something & it stayed did. :)