when you reach the bottom of the gyre

"turning and turning in the widening gyre

the falcon cannot hear the falconer;

things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

mere anarchy is loosed upon the world"

{w.b. yeats, the second coming}

ever since reading w.b. yeats' poem 'the second coming' long ago in university, i've had a fascination with gyres. they are probably to intrinsically complex a concept to explore in just one short blog post... but i'm gonna try. :)

the gyre being the image of a simultaneously widening & tightening spiral. ( also an oceanography term referring to large systems of rotating ocean currents, particularly those involved with large wind movements...which is another blog for another time).  an allegorical/iconic image for the seasons of life.

i have all to well found myself relating to the turning & tightening gyre or that falcon lost in the upper stratosphere straining to hear the falconer or the times where we feel life has lost it's rules & 'mere anarchy' has sprouted in the place of righteousness. in so many ways it's hard to tell when the gyre starts & when it ends. this is because it is an ever-extending pattern. it's the rhythm of life. some gyre's peaks are gentle, rolling bunny hills & others have a peak akin to mount everest. but the rhythm, if respected & embraced gets weaved into a beautiful melody, despite the sometimes violent heights & plummets.

"Secrets of the Supernatural Life" by Shawn Gabie

it's in those vice-grip type places in life that we find ourselves emerging differently at the other end of the spiral, even if it's just the start of another spiral. and that is what i remind myself of when i feel like i'm being squeezed to the bottom, that it's at the tightest point that the gyre gives way to widening. it's the intense compression of the spiral that causes it to expand once again, like heaving lungs finally filling with breath.

challenge & trial & testing is never meant to hurt me. it's meant to make me. and for that i am thankful & choose to embrace the process not just the promise & anchor my faith in the wise Father & His plans for me & my family. i do find comfort & encouragement in a weird way that the longer, steeper the process, the bigger the promise usually.

so here's to big promises & steep processes that take us deep into His plans & draw us closer to His heart. :)

"the whole point of a trial is to give you something, not to take anything away from you. it is to advance you. it is to add something to you. that is why you should be joyful because God allows it in His wisdom what He could easily prevent by His power" 

{graham cooke, the art of thinking brilliantly}

living in light of eternity

a thought for the day...
i found these pearls of wisdom in a friend's facebook conversation. i hope they won't mind me sharing but they were just too good to keep to myself.

"marriage or motherhood is not the finish line for biblical womanhood. when we live in light of temporary finish lines or milestones, we put our identity in the finish line instead of Christ. we need to know how to live in light of eternity! it's far greater!!" 

{susie romer}

• "...and His glory is revealed through our satisfaction in Him; there's no beginning or end to that just total Jesus. my identity is in my eternal saviour not my earthly roles; brings so much freedom!" 
   {leah boden}

  
  

  there is no beginning & no end, no starting line or finish line to my satisfaction in Him. my satisfaction & fulfillment as a woman didn't start when i got married or had my first baby & it won't end when i inevitably become an empty nester. it always has been & always will be found in Him. 

worshipers & fulfillment & lifestyles

i been feeling a strong call to worship as of late. it could be the places i have had the privilege to have been fellowshiping lately {with two very passionate worshipers, angela & fi} but really it started some time ago & just been re-ignited. i have always felt the call to worship but even more so now in a different sort of way. after everything we've gone through this year, i want to worship as the woman that i am now after deep valleys & sharp inclines. to worship in Spirit & truth. to worship as a warrior. as a son & as a worshiper. to worship to see & to be & to hold & to touch. to worship from the loud places & quiet places & long forgotten places.

"it's the story of the journey, the valleys & the mountains. you can't put it on a chart and sing it; you have to live it to sing it out like this. you can't declare what you haven't embraced & have it ring true. and that's what i love about the worship of God... it expresses the inexpressible. in the middle of this ocean, it's quite beautiful, if you have eyes to see." 
{darlene zchech}

i have been soaking in a few great places, bob sorge's exploring worship is one of them {on loan from fi... but will definitely been needing to get my own copy}. 

"prayer is to the believer as communication is to a marriage - absolutely vital. He defines prayer as communication with God & suggests that the prayerless saint will never be a worshipper...

it is easy to confuse worshipping with being a worshiper. just because someone worships, it does not necessarily follow that he or she is a worshiper. virtually anyone can worship as an occasion might demand, but relatively few seem to manifest the lifestyle of a worshiper. 

when God ask us to be worshipers every day, He is not asking us to do nothing but sung songs all week. He knows we must do other things besides vocalize our worship...[but] we will begin to realize that everything we do truly constitutes an act of worship unto the Lord, for our daily activities are but an expression of our dedication to God"

{bob sorge, exploring worship}

"we have a responsibility to be self-motivated in our praise & worship. Ben Patterson has said that God is, at the very least, unimpressed with merely spontaneous worshipers. how true! 'spontaneous worshippers' are folks who know how to praise & worship when they feel like it, when the goosebumps begin to trickle up & down their spines, or when a worship leader really hits their 'worship button'. how we all love those times of spontaneous worship when it is so easy to lift our hearts unto the Lord! but if we operate at that level only, we have not learned the discipline of being a worshiper...a worshiper worships at every given opportunity & does not demand some horizontal stimulus from the pastor or worship leader before entering into praise."

{bob sorge, exploring worship}

"when that cloud filled the temple, the people & priests could not see anyone or anything around them, because all that was visible to them was the presence of the Lord. and for us today, the goal of our worship should be that we come to the point where we do not see anyone or anything around us, but we become totally taken up with God. that is the supreme goal of worship; to see only the Lord. there is no higher fulfillment for us, nor will there ever be." 

{bob sorge, exploring worship}

living Shugyo

someone once gave me a word that the physical bootcamp i was attending in the natural would mirror the spiritual bootcamp going on on the inside. that word is more true today than it ever has been. :) this quote was a great reminder of that 'training' lifestyle.

"most people just live their lives without thinking about it: just eating, working, sleeping. we're different because we train. we live our lives as Shugyo. that means every situation becomes training to us, an opportunity to forge ourselves. we take the attitude that anything which makes us uncomfortable isn't because of the  environment, or because someone made us a victim. we understand that no matter how bad things are, we can still choose how we take it."

{toyoda fomio}

learning to embrace the Shugyo life. feeling this on all sides of life. the training. the choosing. the forging. 

a little bit of Christmas in the heart

i loved christmas as a child. and i love christmas now. even if it's a significant amount more work & sacrifice to love it now.  christmas has become a real skill & discipline. a discipline in keeping perspective. a guarding of my child-likeness & a submitting of my heart. to be able to tune out all the hassle & hussel & clamour & keep tight grasp of the quiet truth & revelation behind it all. because if i'm not careful all the shopping & wrapping becomes tiring, meaningless ritual. the cost & discomforts of travelling to see family & friends from afar will rob me of the fellowship of the heart. the early mornings & late nights will overtake the giving heart.

and so i am trading tradition for truth, selfishness for selflessness. i chose to enjoy these sleep scarce, sometimes thankless, uncomfortable, tiring few days because i know it's all about an encounter. an encounter than started long, long ago that has grown into this grinch-like heart. that it is an encounter with the Giver of all good things. and it's from Him that i can give past my capacity. and it's that continual encounter that i carry in my heart all year long.

"he who has not christmas in his heart will never will never find it under a tree."

 {roy l. smith}

"we consider christmas as the encounter, the great encounter, the historical encounter, the decisive encounter, between God & mankind. he who has faith knows this truly; let him rejoice." 

{Pope Paul VI}

"christmas, my child, is love in action. every time we love, every time we give, it's christmas." 

{dale evans}

"love same down & rescued me." {jesus culture}

"i will honor christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year."

{charles dickens}

* looking to change some things next year to more accurately reflect our heart in bold new ways. doing some reading on some very cool 'traditions of truth' that others are embracing {posting anything interesting in the sidebar.. feel free to read alongside me!}

for the dark spots.

"often i have heard people say, "how good God is! we prayed that it would not rain for our church picnic, and look at the lovely weather!" yes, God is good when He sends good weather. but God was also good when He allowed my sister, betsie, to starve to death before my eyes in a german concentration camp. i remember one occasion when i was very discouraged there. everything around us was dark, and there was darkness in my heart. i remember telling betsie that i thought God had forgotten us. "no, corrie," said betsie, "He has not forgotten us. remember His Word: "for as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him." there is an ocean of God's love available - there is plenty for everyone. may God grant you never to doubt that victorious love - whatever the circumstances."

corrie ten boom

"do not close your eyes during the bad parts, as those are parts of God's grace too."

ann voskamp

sobering up

i have been thinking a lot about how impressionable i am, how easily influenced. a holy dissatisfaction with my own lifestyle choices & habits is rising to the surface to be purified, purged. a deep desire to get back to the original plan & purpose i was called to.  the original gospel.  not the watered down version i've been illustrating. ready to wake up from the cultural mirage & live free.

"i consider that the chief dangers that confront the coming century will be religion without the Holy Ghost, christianity without Christ, forgiveness without repentance, salvation without regeneration, and heaven without hell." 

{general william booth}

"how much more will the magnificence of marriage in the mind of God be unintelligible in a modern western culture, where the main idol is self; and it's main doctrine is autonomy; and its central act of worship is being entertained; and it's three main shrines are the television, the internet, and the cinema... my own sin & selfishness and cultural bondage makes it almost impossible for me to feel the wonder of God's purpose..."

{john piper}

"we are not relevant when we mirror the world around us, we are relevant when we model what they long to become."

{bill johnson}