11.30.2011

is that a kit kat bar for breakfast? {the cereal conspiracy}

cereal is confusing.  a complicated twist of corporate trickery, nutritional miseducation & habitual food jags make breakfast, which is the most important meal of the day, one of the trickiest meals of the day.  i used to loath it.  at a time of day when my brain is still asleep & i have four empty stomachs rioting in front of me, making a good choice can be difficult to say the least.  if i haven't pre-thought out or prepared breakfast, i often turn to whatever is easiest.  cereal. toast. and maybe through a little splash of fruit in there.  would i rather my kids start their day with an egg white spinach omelette or breakfast quinoa?  absolutely!  but the reality is that cereal mornings are inevitable.  and in that case i need to be prepared for the sleep-eyed, half asleep decision of what's for breakfast.


the general rule in our house is if it's not a good choice then don't bring it into the house.  which when upheld, has served us quite well.  however, whenever i walk down that booby-trapped cereal aisle i always seem to forget what i was originally there to get & begin looking at the back of cereal boxes, each claiming to be a healthier choice.  when in reality pretty much everything you find in that aisle, with few exceptions, is prime evil.  at least when you're in the junk food aisle you know it.  when comparing the nutrient values of common candy like skittles, kit kat bars, snickers & jelly beans to cereals like raisin bran or oatmeal crisp triple berry the sugar content alone exceeds the chocolate bar. i'm not even talking about cereals like cocoa puffs or fruit loops. i'm talking about cereals that look & claim to be healthy!  candy masquerading as breakfast!  shameful! that's not to mention portion sizes.  at least chocolate bars are pre-portioned for you.  the average cereal consumer pours two to four times the serving size on the back of the box.  yikes!  and you burn it off almost as fast as you ate it.  not a sustainable energy source. when the first thing you put in your stomach is sugar, sugar is what you crave all day long. or so sayeth science.  one bad choice paves the way for more bad choices & it can be hard to turn that ship around once it's sailed. 

truly health conscience cereals are generally very expensive... like $9 a bag expensive.  but it's because you are getting what you are paying for.  in the book the omnivore's dilemma, pollan writes "four cents worth of commodity corn {or some equally cheap grain} is transformed into four dollars worth of processed food".  millions of dollars are spent on engineering highly addictive cereals with no concern for actual nutritional value.  it is a multi-million dollar enterprise & highly secretive business.  what really does go into the making of cereal? i'd way rather do the research & rest easy in my $9 bag of nutrition rather than squander $4 on a bag of crappy candy that sustains me for about fifteen minutes.  it's an investment. i'll admit i still cringe when i get to the till but it's so worth it when i add up the pros & cons.  but how could i not knowing what i know now.

the alternative solution.  get out from underneath the cereal branding conspiracy that says it can't be breakfast if it isn't stamped with general mills or kellogg's on the back.  other than this seemly western twentieth century phenomena, most of the world eats anything for breakfast.  it is a meal just like any other meal. it needs to be made up of the same types of protein, complex carbs & good fats found in chicken, fish & veggies or fruit.  think outside the box.  can't say i've mastered the fish omelette yet but it's worth a try. eating healthy is a commitment.  it takes a lot of preplanning & is extremely inconvenient most of the time but it is so worth it.  give it a chance & you might even end up enjoy it.  in the end it is my responsibility to educate myself & let big food manufacturers know who's in charge of my family's food choices.  this four cents for four dollars deal just isn't working for me!

and so it is with this post that i lay down my long love affair with shreddies & choose to embrace the spinach hemp smoothie. gulp! wish me luck! 

p.s. i did find some reasonable cereals in the health food section of our loblaws like heritage o's for the kids & kashi go lean original for myself {although beware, even the "healthy" cereal aisle can have some seductive little boxes of poison hiding in there too}.  

11.29.2011

the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

yesterday was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.  nothing went as planned.  no sleep, no latte, no internet, yogurt, yogurt everywhere, diapers, grumpy boy, granola, granola everywhere, timeout, gym, hard, sweaty gym, groceries, loooong lines, full grocery cart, no bank card, trail three hysterical toddlers through loblaws into the rain sans groceries, brother pushes sister into stair, nose bleed, timeout, screaming, poop, crying, babies "nap", starving infant trumps starving mummy, fussy infant trumps exhausted mummy, babies wake, mess, mess everywhere, grumpy toddlers, bath, poop, bedtime, five minutes later bedtime for mummy & repeat allll over again. sigh.  this is my life.

i am tired.  i am dirty & i am still latte-less! but today was better.  not better as in the events were different. just substitute the nose-bleed for a toddler falling down the stairs & trailing three hysterical toddlers through loblaws for dragged three hysterical toddlers & an infant seat through a school hallway after the recess bell has rung.  fun to say the least.  every day is painfully the same & yet vastly different at the same time.

i realize, upon reflection, that the key to a great day lies wholly in my perspective & attitude.  i cried my way through yesterday but laughed my way through today.  a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day can only happen if i have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad attitude. and those darn attitudes are sneaky.  just when i've really changed, i have yelled for the last time, that stinkin' attitude jumps out from behind a sabotaged nap time or a diaper change gone all wrong.  they creep up on you when you are least guarded, unexpectantly.  it's never when i have my fully highlighted & underlined parenting manifesto under my arm. no. only when the tank is dry, stomach empty, reserves depleted & my mind, outraged, reasons 'no person on earth should ever be expected to endure all this! go ahead & sulk. it's only natural in such circumstance.' but no.  i made a choice a long time ago to not become a victim of my day.  it's when i'm the weakest, i need to be the strongest.  it's like what they say about weight lifting.  just when you feel you've reached your max, you can't do anymore, that's when you do two more repetitions.  and that is how you build muscle.  in the two more that you thought you couldn't do, that were well past your capacity, that we grow.  we become the strongest we've ever been.  i'm not saying it's pleasant or painless, just necessary.

my day did not just happen to me, i happened to it.  i'm steering this ship.  no toddler of mine is going to steer it for me.  i choose how today is going to be experienced with all of it's poopy, messy challenges.  so cheers to today! a wonderfully loud & complicated mess that i am choosing to enjoy anyways! choosing to be thankful for laundry strewn everywhere, an empty underwear drawer, teething toddlers and all. i am thankful i have arms to fold crumpled laundry.  thankful that i have access to teething salts & tylenol. thankful for a broom to sweep & a cloth to clean.  the hard eucharisteo.

11.24.2011

livi style {small style}

and here is livi verona in her very own featurette of {small style}!
it's amazing how fast newborns change or how different they look in pictures.  she is the sweetest little girl, with her saucy little grins & gentle little coos.  she melts my heart.  she has fit right into the wilkins clan & only occasionally lets out a little cry to let us know she's still there. her cry almost sounds like an apology... like "i'm so sorry, i know you're busy but my susu fell out again".  and did i mention how sweet she is?
she is currently weighing in at 11 lbs... now that's some 35% cream! mama's little cream puff! i'm in love!



{livi}: long sleeved onesie & leggings {carters}, jean dress {old navy}, hairband {can't remember but i know it's off of etsy}

11.23.2011

heaven blew every trumpet {letters to livi}

the dimple in your right cheek as you smile big, as you dream big.  eyelashes flutter, tiny toe twitches, tiny pink fingers grip tight to my finger as you drift in & out of sleep.

you are perfect.

i play with your ten toes, run my finger over your soft skin. perfect.

they said i'd never tuck you in at night, never kiss that button nose of yours, never sing you to sleep.  they said you'd never make it to my arms.

and here you are, my arms full of a perfect miracle.  a miracle Love made.  i clutch you closer.  my cheek against yours as you breath soft.  i count every breath.  i think of all the moments, all the days, minutes that they said would never happen.  and chest heaves, tears well with thankfulness for every second, every poopy diaper, every cry in the night.  this is what i prayed for.  to hold you in my arms. this is what i fought for.

after an imagination barren pregnancy, too afraid to entertain what-ifs, i sit here now and dream extravagantly along with you. how daddy will dance for you, how we'll laugh under the maple, how i'll braid your hair or snuggle at day's end.  how you'll look at me with those pure piercing eyes & i'll feel it well up it within me. that crazy love. that love we fought for, cried for, longed for.

looking at you, i stare straight into the face of God's goodness & mercy.

you were born a miracle.  every chromosome knitted together by His knowing hand, every hair counted.  against all the odds, all the impossibilities.  you were born, perfect.

i will never stop thanking.  i will never stop treasuring you.
you are the child that miracle birthed little livi verona.
wear life bravely for you are the one we fought for.

"heaven blew every trumpet & played every horn on the wonderful, marvelous night you were born."
~ nancy tillman, on the night you were born

these are the letters that love wrote {love letters}

i am adding another fixture to the blog!  i have decided to write a love letter to my kids each week. not all of them every week, although there is plenty enough material, but each of them in their turn. i want to write them my love in hopes of immortalizing something.  how they inspired, how they convicted, how they changed me forever.  i don't ever want them forget how fiercely they are loved, chocolate smeared face & all.  i don't think i could ever quite accurately articulate just how much i love them.  but it's worth a try.
and so, these are the letters that love wrote.

11.21.2011

the love song {a song diary}

the love song.  the song that started it all.  that stirred the oceans into being, that rolled the clouds out in all their splendor, that smoothed fern & fauna onto that glorious palette, that painted the majestic heavens, that molded us from our muddy beginnings, breathed being into life, never-ending, ever-creating. the love song. His song.

cheap imitations & glimmers of this love are rarely captured or able to be reproduced. just a dim shadow of this love, His love. something i truly appreciate about third day is they are one of the rare finds in a song writer that understands what this love is like to experience.  my deep is stirred every time i hear these songs below.

i can remember playing love song for an IUS presentation before my high school class.  the room was silent while the song played.  not the crinkle of a paper. not the clicking of a pen.  nothing but the soft sobbing of my unsaved grade ten english teacher.  

cheap love songs are a dime a dozen. real love songs are not. they cost everything.  

just let the songs below play & let Him sing to you.


11.17.2011

museum edition {small style}

i love getting everyone dressed for an indoor outing... like the museum!  you don't have to worry about white getting stained, the weather factor or durability/practicality of the outfit of choice.  nothing is off limits in the closet!

and so, here is us on our way to the museum of nature.
 {kai}: jacket {carters}, jeans {gymboree}, sweater {joe}, boots {joe}
 {eva}: dress & leggings {old navy}, boots {carters}, sweater {joe}, diaper bag/purse {walmart}
 {davith}: sweater & shoes {joe}. jeans {children's place}
triceratops are his favourite right now
calling bumpa
 {livi}: i know you can really see it but it a one piece {carters}