in the fullness of time... all things {womb wisdom}

this was originally posted in september, while waiting for livi to arrive. but i feel even more pregnant today than i did when i first posted it. so here's to this blog's first official re-post.

we are all waiting.  waiting for the light to change.  waiting for the leaves to turn.  waiting for the day, the week, the month, the busyness to end & then start again.  waiting for round belly to birth precious child. waiting, expecting... seasons pass, rains fall & then dry.  and i wait with hand on belly. days roll into months, months into trimesters until the inner transformation begins to take outer shape heralding the news of a forth coming life.

and there are lots of false starts.  lots of almosts & not yets. lots of belly contracting preparation, sleepless night anticipation.  lots of lip quivering. lots of day dreaming.  and yet, with all this, no one can tell exactly when baby will decide to make her gracious entrance.  due dates fly by & babies huddle warm in space scarce wombs.  waiting.

waiting for change. isn't that what we all wait for?  and the Lord gently whispers to the impatient heart, in due time, change in it's due time.  we march into september with ideals held high, hope that this year's resolution will hold fast.  this year it will be different.  what was, will be no more. this year i will change. and yet somewhere deep inside, a small scared voice chants 'foolish to think this year will be different, foolish to think you will be different'.  dare we hope for time to be fulfilled, fulfilled in all we have ever hoped for, all we have dreamt of this long, long journey?  but somewhere, at some point, a seed was planted in the dark.  and it grew.  maybe unnoticeably at first, but now it swells, it flourishes round. despite all the wearied, discouragement, it grew. hidden in dark womb, veiled signs of life twitch & stir, growing into long limbed jabs. back twinges wearied from the weight of carrying the promise.  and then the time to birth comes, comes of it's own accord.  a mother cannot force it, rush it or will it. only in it's rightful time.

in due time.  in perfect time, it will be fulfilled.  all the dreams, all the hopes of Christ made full in me. fulfilled.

all i can be is a dwelling place, a dwelling place for change, a dwelling place for the seed of Christ to grow in all His fullness & abundance.  life's ultimate fruition, coming to term. for Him to live His life through me, not me through Him.

and so it is with this womb's last visitor, that i refuse to watch the clock, neglect to keep track of growing discomforts & stretched skin.  and instead i savour.  i revel in God's belly stretched goodness.  and i know the coming is imminent.

this womb waits expectant.

"but when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His son..." {gal 4:4}

originally posted: 9/20/11 7:33AM

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