your who, not your do {calling & office}

there is a fight.  a fight to fit.  to find my function. to find fulfillment.  to find it... right here.  i felt like i had finally grasped it once i found my profession.  found a position. found something i was good at.  great at.  a way to express myself that was admirable.  an office that looked good on me.  and then i laid that office down to become a mother.  and i chased my fleeting fulfillment & fumbled over my fickle fit through the function of motherhood.  i lost it.  lost my grounding.  lost the perspective of truth.
the truth is i have a life calling.  my life is driven by a mission.  by a vision.  when i begin defining myself by what i do, that is dangerous.  when i weave my identity into an office, into a position it is a short lived fulfillment.  all positions, all offices are meant to simply be an expression of who i am, not define who i am.  position is intended to serve my calling, not be my calling.  with so much frazzle-dazzle around position, we get caught up in questions of position instead of how this office can serve my calling.  it's all about our personal truths. knowing who we are & what we were designed for. it's who you are not what you do.  and that means that the worst position i can be in, is a position i feel i cannot live without.

when i was younger, when someone would ask me what do you want to be when you grow up, i would say... " i would love to be a mom... or i would love to be a teacher"  instead of articulate a vision for my life.  instead of saying, "i want to serve children.  i want to empower the tiniest of kingdom.  i want to better cultivate the genius of our greatest natural resource, our children."  and i can do that whether i am a mom, a teacher... or a great many things.  the question isn't what position, but rather how can this position or this space in my life, help me achieve my vision.  when i hang my security & fulfillment on an office or a job, when i let those things define me, i dilute & minimize the original intent for my life. after all, positions are temporary, callings are eternal.  and i am shooting for the eternal.

"where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained." 

{proverbs 29:18}