lessons in the losses

one thing that i think every mom finds difficult is the feeling of defeat or failure. it's the anger that boils over after stepping on a cheerio immediately after sweeping the floor. it's the feeling you get when you finally have to face the laundry monster growing in your basement or cleaning out the tub & re-bathing everyone after discovering that prunes before bath are never a good idea. it is the general feeling that all of your hard work is undone everyday and having nothing to show for it, like you've regressed since the day began.

being a teacher, i always loved that feeling of accomplishment every time i walked by my brilliant bulletin board celebrating all of the kids beautiful work or the comments i would get from fellow teachers and parents about a great idea i had. but now being at home i sometimes feel a bit lost not having that bulletin board to show all of my hard work or not having someone to commend me on a fabulous idea. it is strangely disorienting to find out no one is counting how many diapers i change in a day or how miraculously i scrubbed bingo dabber out of the rug.

but as my wise husband always reminds me there are lessons in the losses, choices in the chaos. in my very young experience as a mom, i want to learn my lessons fast so i don't have to repeat them tripley, as i'm sure anyone would agree. so i thought i would record some of the little treasure i have mined out of the sleepless nights, frazzled hair and piles of poop before my hormone soaked mind forgets them. hopefully this little list will grow quickly over time.