she was twelve long days overdue. those twelve days were longer than her brother's record fifteen days overdue. those twelve days seemed longer than the many weeks before her due date. we were convinced by this belly stretched goodness that she would surely make her arrival soon but the waiting, so long. it seemed long because we really had been waiting from fifteen weeks gestation on, uncertain if she'd be born alive. uncertain that she'd have a working heart. and so a year ago today, all the anticipation & waiting had come to a head. the time to test the miracle had come.
in the middle of labour, the cardiologist called my cell phone too early, expecting that surely the baby had been born already. she called to see the state of the heart... in the middle of labour... in the middle of the labour & delivery ward, where all the other mothers were pushing out healthy hearted babies with roars of faith that they'd for sure hold their little promises at the end of that push. but not me. not so sure after that phone call. i knew this baby had been miraculously healed of downs syndrome. every chromosome knitted together in perfection. how really could i doubt that she would make her arrival as anything less than perfectly healed? but there was still a lingering question mark. i had been certain she was perfect, until the cardiologist called... in the middle of contraction squeezing labour.
and so today is a special day. it's a special day, not because we haven't celebrated birthdays before but because this is the anniversary of the very first, life altering miracle i had ever seen & held with my own arms. holding my little victorious conquering peace.