the eye of the storm {emotional tsunami's & the like}

they say hurricane sandy is headed our way with her pummelling rains, her wicked winds & rising torrents.  they're calling her the 'frankenstorm'. they say to expect power outages & flash flooding.  they've started to evacuate new york but we wait. they say she'll begin to lose her power before she hits us, with no water body to feed off.  and so we wait.

and so i wait.  the doctors say that i am in the middle of my own storm. after having four kids in two-in-a-half years, my body has sustained a pretty awesome estrogen high for a significant period of time.  the doctors say it's estrogen withdrawal, like a drug withdrawal.  who knew you could be addicted to pregnancy & breast feeding. and who knew a body could throw such a temper tantrum with crazy symptoms like heart palpitations, chest pain, headaches & migraines, intense nausea, fatigue, hallucinations, sweating & flushed face, muscle tension, irritability or agitation, anxiety, poor concentration, lack of motivation for daily tasks, changes in appetite, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, trouble sleeping, lack of pleasure or interest in most or all activities, social isolation or being withdrawn or unconnected & depression... just to name a few. :)

i have weathered this storm before & have been equipped for the journey ahead. i have made a jogging date with a good friend.  my cupboards are stocked with menotea & estrosmart.  my ipod is fully loaded for worship basking & new books on the night stand to scrub the mind.  i am guarding my confession & self-esteem in the Word above all other words.  the gratitude journal is open and i have found solace in the tips & encouragement from friends & resources. from people who have done this & conquered not just survived.

i am determined to not give this storm anything to feed off, like a hurricane without water. storms come our way and we can either fuel them or fight them.  i am determined that this storm will dry up as it progresses. i know i am still going to feel it but i am not going to fuel it. i have been a storm survivor in the past & i will be a storm tamer only because the best Storm Tamer is in me.

but as all good storm hunters know, the heart of the hurricane is the key.  the place that makes all the storm chasing worth it.  the eye of the storm, the centre of revelation, where the storm is rendered helpless & all of it's secrets are offered up for those who fight to get to the centre. the secrets to true joy & revelations of real love all wrapped up in battering winds & temperamental typhoon. they say the eye of the storm is where comparatively light winds & fair weather can be found, amidst the ravaging gales.  where little or no precipitation & sometimes even blue skies or stars can be seen. it's finding that place that makes you better.  makes you stronger to face the other side.

this is where the rubber hits the road. where belief meets reality.  and i am strong & courageous. not deterred by pain or danger. focussed on my target, chasing the eye of the storm.

"and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." 
{roman 8:28}
"and then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm..." {job 38:1}

1 comment:

  1. Strength and focus and grace upon grace upon grace to you, Friend. Showering lots of prayers your way.