a captive with the keys

i've been out of the habit.  out of the habit of blogging.  out of the habit of practicing the Presence.  out of the habit being me.  i could say i had been swallowed up by a big, mean, deep, dark hole but the truth is, i am not a victim.  i am a conquerer.  i could say that i got locked up in a place where the truth gets so fuzzy sometimes it's hard to recognize myself.  but the truth is, i am not a prisoner. maybe a captive, but a captive with the keys in my hands.  the truth is, i forgot.  i forgot who i am.  where i was going. forgot to say thanks. forgot the benefits.

"praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all His benefits." 

{psalm 103:2}

the truth of the matter is, i lost my habits.  the habits of health.  the habits of healing.  the habits of growth.  habits of glory to glory.  the little things that change big things. and then there's the BIG thing that changes everything.  and it's only Him that ministers peace when anxiety clenches the chest, when my emotions thunder & throb through my head, nurses nauseated spirit, speaks order to the chaos, health to the sick.

and so i am choosing to learn. choosing to see.  choosing to trust.  choosing to dig my feet in & fight.  this is where i thrive. where i become. where i live the promise.

"people with their minds set on You, You keep completely whole..." 

{isaiah 26:3, msg}