because the path is long... {the big sin & little humanities}

the rustic outback. i slinging a pack on my back & orient my course for the incredible adventure laid out before me.  carefully choosing my step, navigating over brook & rock, tree root & branch.  a gentle climb quickly becomes a steep strain.  as the incline begins to intensify, i trip on pebbles & rock & knee is bloodied.  i stoop to pick up the offending stones & load them in my pack, as to not forget how they wronged, how they hurt. i slow as the pack heavies. more wounding, more rocks to add to the growing collection of contempt.    exhaustion pulses through tired muscles.  the mind grows more determined. i can still do this.  i can reach the top & carry this, i say to myself.  a wearied back twinges.  i am crawling, clawing to continue.  but i cannot.  the weight crushing.  a wounding so deep, yet so self righteous, i trade the mountain top for a pile of pebbles. 

the moral to the story is to liberate the rocks & pebbles... the journey is too long & too important to carry them with you.  little offenses, hard feelings, annoyances add to weigh more than boulders sometimes.  it's not the BIG sin, the BIG boulders that one is unware of the need for forgiveness but the tiny pebble you pick up in your shoe that goes seemingly unnoticed.  pebbles so easily dislodged & yet i pick it up & put it in my pack.  my pack, a record of the wrong, full of aspiring martyrdom, better left light, for the path unfolds long under the feet.  pebbles & rocks are nothing but little humanities & yet often rob us of our lifeblood.  why is it that the most offending of offenses is just humans being human? they are just mere personality quirks, the way different individuals are wired. everyone who is human will let you down from time to time.  anyone under the expectation of perfection will fail. why does this never cease to surprise? why are we always in pursuit of the perfect relationship illusion?  it is myth, a fleeting fog.  it isn't always the big sin that crushes, but the unforeseen disappointment that pounces when least expected.  and the only thing that heals is the pursuit of the only One who is Perfect, who never disappoints.  

i wonder how many times i have inadvertently been the pebble in someone else's shoe? grace is poured out with ease when i realize i am one in the same as my offenders.  how self-righteous to think i had never been in need of divine grace.  the grace i have been afforded, is something to be ever thankful for, something to bring perspective, to be paid forward.
the key is in expectation. in the state of the heart.  in the thanking for what is good, even in difficulty, that we dislodge those pebbles & rocks, shake them from our shoulders & push forward toward the top.  the journey is too long & necessary to sacrifice it for a pile of useless rocks, forfeiting the promise land for so futile & unworthy of a cause.  

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